The Tell Tale Signs of Monday

1) You have been at work for less than 3 hours and already feel as though it is time to go home.

2) You have a list of things to do, but no matter how hard you try and no matter how time sensitive the things on said list may be, you cannot bring yourself to do any of them.

3) Your friends who are still students tell you they are still in their pajamas and a pit of rage and longing wells up in your gut with such intensity you feel you may ralph.

4) You are hungry all the time and hence, count the minutes until lunch (30 minutes to go).

5) You walk very VERY slowly to the bathroom, hoping to maximize time away from your desk only to return to find 3 minutes have passed. In response to this you drink as much water as your poor stomach can hold in order to take as many 3 minute bathroom breaks as possible.

6) You start to fantasize about what you would be doing if you had the day off. For example, let's say it's 60 degrees and sunny out on December 1st in a city renowned for its terrible weather. As a result of this you find yourself spending tens of minutes imagining sitting in the sunshine and reading a book. Or maybe, regardless of the weather, you just wish you were ANYWHERE but at your desk.

7) You imagine how great it would be to live a nomadic lifestyle. To grow your hair out and make it into dreadlocks. To grow out your beard (if you are so inclined) and stop showering. To hitchhike across the country until you reach your parents house and live with them just so that you won't have to pay rent so that you won't have to have a job that would require you to be in any sort of building for 8 hours a day.

And then you think of your iPhone. The one which you have been wanting for so long. And you think that if you can just sit at your desk until lunch, and then after lunch until 6pm you just might be able to buy one someday.

And then you think that maybe tomorrow you should call in sick.